I am now finished with radiation and it is amazing that the side effects were minimal. A little soreness, dryness and redness, but very tolerable. I had the same technician, Laurie, for most of the treatments. On the last day of treatments I could feel my emotions rising. I should have been elated knowing I wouldn't need to make the drive to Presbyterian every day, put on a robe and lay still on a table while the machine did its magic. Instead, as the machine was finishing I began to cry. I don't know if it was sadness or joy...just lots of tears. Laurie gave me a big hug and a certification of completion and I was on my way. I thanked her for taking such good care of me and being a vital part in my fight against cancer. There have been so many wonderful nurses, technicians and doctors that I am so very thankful for. They always greet me with a smile and a cheerful attitude that is contagious. Maybe my tears were in part because I will miss seeing Laurie's cheerful face.
My emotions have taken control of my life lately. The tears flow very freely and at times all day. Dave jokes that I have voice activated tears because it just takes him saying one little thing and then the emotions rise and the tears flow. I have been trying to analyze this phase in my journey. It seems I should have gone through crying phase nine months ago when I started treatments. I think throughout the past nine months I have been in a crisis mode where I needed to focus on the task at hand. It was necessary to keep track of all the various doctor's appointments, scheduling treatments around my work schedule and basically just trying to hold myself together to get through each phase of treatments. Now that the majority of the treatments are over and I have had time to reflect on the past months it is overwhelming to me what Dave and I have gone through. I think the fact I have cancer is sinking in deeper and so far I am considerering myself a survivor of this dreaded disease.
Pray for Dave as I go through this weepy stage.